he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I cut my penus on the lid.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
