I can text with my tongue
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
