Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...