He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
