Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
