I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.