Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
