This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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