yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Less talking, more tequila
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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