its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
