i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
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Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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