hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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