I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
