Your face is a jimmy john
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
