im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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