Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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