That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
