why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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