i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
BRING THE BAGELS
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