I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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