Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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