Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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