Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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