Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
