the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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