weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
