Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
