Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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