But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
