: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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