Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
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