I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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