i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
