when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
