Porn is love you can see.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Let's paint friendship bongs
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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