I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
