How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
