No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
