I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
