girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he had hair everywhere except his balls
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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