bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
