I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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