Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
