i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Someone came in the potted fern
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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