Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
