Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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