i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
