erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
