so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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