I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize