Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
