Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my phone needs a breathalizer
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
