I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
