Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Me too!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize