hotel room ftw
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
