It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
