4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
