You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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