don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
