Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
