I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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