I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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